Why is it that whenever we feel the most burdened we keep it hidden from others? Why do we block everything out so that no one can see how we really are feeling? Why can’t we just reach out to a friend or family member and say, life’s hard. As a child we grow up wishing to be older, but once we get older we realize that life is hard. We all have different challenges. Just today I saw a lady standing on a street corner in her “best” clothes with a sign asking for money for the holidays. She didn’t look like a drug dealer or someone that should be standing on a street corner, she looked like possibly a mother just trying to makes ends meet. I can’t imagine getting to that point in life. I looked in her eyes and thought, I know how you feel, if I only had the money . . . I felt a deep connection to her because we to are going through something similar. We aren’t standing on a street corner, but Kevin’s business doesn’t bring in much money. Some months we don’t get a paycheck, others only enough for the rent. We are living on our savings. Life’s hard.
Somedays I don’t think much about it. Others I can’t think of anything else. I randomly shed a tear as I’m doing dishes or cleaning up toys. I try not to let others see my hurt. On a few rare occasions one of my boys has seen the tear and asked, “Mom, why are you crying?” I simple wipe it away and respond that I’m just fine. But the truth is life’s hard. Around the holidays it’s harder. My boys talk about Santa coming every morning they wake up. They are so excited. We have a few gifts for the boys. But every time I think about how hard life is, I think that it’s harder for someone else out there. Someone without the money to pay for heat, or gifts for their children, or someone standing on a street corner. Life’s hard. I don’t think myself better than those who are experience this. My heart goes out to them and I shed a tear in their behalf because I feel a little of what they are going through. Challenges don’t only make us become stronger spiritually, but they allow us to feel what others might be going through. It allows us to feel a sliver of what the Savior feels for each of us. He knows what we are feeling because he’s been there. He knows life’s hard.
After having this money trial for more than 6 months now. I finally, hesitantly feel that I need to share to those of you going through similar trials. Let me encourage you to share with loved ones your heartaches. They won’t think any less of you. They will love you more and they may even share when they went through something similar. You can shed some tears together and grow a deeper love and appreciation for them. I heard a story a few months back from a friend that she didn’t have enough money to buy her baby groceries, but she was too proud to tell anyone she couldn’t feed her baby. Her loving sister showed up on her door step that very day with a bag of groceries. This story continually brings a tear to my eye because I understand. I am feeling her same pains. Life is hard. I hope that this trial of mine will help me be more aware of those in need. So that when I have a little spare change I can give the mother on the street corner a little piece of mind and show her that I know what it’s like. I have felt similar pains. Let us all love each other a little more and show each other that we are experiencing similar hardships. So that when someone, like me, mentions how hard life really is I don’t feel like I’m the only one out there thinking that life is hard.
Life is hard! I also like to look towards others to help me get perspective. Counting our blessings always helps us feel better. Be grateful you have savings! Currently we don’t. When Dan was out of work over Christmas we had more in savings than we do now. I look at the times we had the least, and those were often the best in experience. Let us know how we can help.
Word. We are a tough group who seem to want to mostly just get up, brush ourselves off, and carry on without showing that something is bothering us. But we are lucky to have such a loving and caring family support system. I love all my sisters and honestly would do anything in my power to help any of them and I know they probably feel the same for me. Would be happy to help in any small way I can – financially or otherwise. Do not despair, be of good cheer.
I hear you. If you want to cry, call me. Well cry together. At the beginning of November our money ran out and I wasn’t working anymore so Chadd started donating plasma and we only had about $60 for groceries for the rest of the year and we only paid half of our rent for Dec. But we have received some amazing blessings as we struggle through. Our Christmas is the few things we bought in advance and a few small homemade things from scraps in my sewing table. Our welfare came through the other day and we could go buy meat and peanut butter. And we went to bed full. We felt so gluttonous. And so blessed.
I truly understand. Call me anytime. I cry sometimes too.